Ode to Abandonment

I am lost at sea without a vest.
I'm a pirate searching for a gold-filled chest.
I'm a migrating bird who lost her child.
I'm a house cat released into the wild.
I'm a flower afraid to fully bloom.
I am trembling from the rainstorm's boom.
I am trying to flee this heartbroken land.
I am watching fall those grains of sand.

I'm afraid, one day, I'll be too old.
I'm afraid, one day, my soul will turn cold.
I'm afraid, one day, I just won't try.
I'm afraid, one day, I'll stop and die.

I'm sure, thereafter, I won't search.
I'm sure I'll lie there in that church.
I'm sure I'll smile upon my loves,
And fly forever with the doves.

I'm not afraid of trying, through.
I'm not afraid of what I'll know.
I'm more afraid of what I don't.
I'm terrified of what I won't.
I'm ready to open up inside.
I'm looking inward, deep and wide.
I'm ready to begin that day
When I won't need you anyway.